You Are Who You Sit With

I just got off the phone with one of my best friends, Matt.

Matt is one of those rare humans who’s walked beside me through every version of myself: the girl in crisis, the girl rebuilding, the girl pretending to be okay, and the girl finally finding peace.

He’s been there at the bottom, when I didn’t know how to climb out. He’s been there in the messy middle, when everything felt foggy and nothing made sense. And he’s still here now, reminding me to stay grounded as I figure out how to hold it all — the joy, the growth, the responsibility, the softness.

During our call, he casually said something wise (per usual):
“Surround yourself with crazy, you become crazy.”

At first, I laughed — because it sounded like one of those one-liners you’d read on a magnet at a weird beach gift shop. But after we hung up, it hit me. Deep.

How many times in my life have I mirrored the dysfunction around me without even realizing it? How often have I questioned my own peace just because I was sitting in someone else’s chaos?

That’s the thing about environments. They shape us more than we realize. When you surround yourself with people who are always gossiping, doubting themselves, numbing out, blaming the world, or chasing drama… you start picking up on that frequency.

Even if you’re trying to grow. Even if you’re journaling, going to therapy, and drinking green juice.

Matt has this way of dropping truth bombs without trying to sound wise. He doesn’t speak to impress — he speaks because he’s actually lived it.

He’s one of the most grounded people I know. Truly — Matt is so in tune with himself, it’s wild. He’s one of the few people I genuinely believe is content. Not chasing the next thing, not performing for anyone, not trying to prove his worth — just… good with who he is.

I look up to him like an older brother. He keeps me in check, calls me out when I’m spiraling, and somehow does it without ever making me feel shameful or small. There’s no guilt, no ego, no performance. Just presence. And that’s rare.

That’s why this blog post exists — because that one quote lit something up in me:

You are who you sit with. And the truth is, I’ve sat at a lot of tables in my life that didn’t serve me.
Tables full of drama.
Tables full of jealousy disguised as jokes.
Tables where I had to earn my seat by being smaller, quieter, “less much.”

It’s taken me years — sobriety, grief, healing, God, letting go — to realize how deeply our environment shapes our nervous system, our self-worth, and our capacity to grow.

And now, I protect my peace like it’s my full-time job. Because it is.

Sit with people who reflect your values.
Who want to grow, but don’t expect perfection.
Who see your light and don’t feel threatened by it.
Who can hold your darkness without trying to fix it.

Because energy is contagious.
So is insecurity.
So is self-awareness.
So is peace.

That’s what Matt reminded me today. Not in a preachy way. Not in a “listen to me, I have it all figured out” way. But just by being himself — someone who lives aligned, speaks the truth, and doesn’t need to be flashy about it.

So here’s what I’ll say to you AND ME:

Audit your circle.
Look around.
Ask yourself:

• Who gets my unfiltered self?

• Who makes me feel safe and accountable?

• Who challenges me to grow without making me feel like I’m behind?

Because sometimes we confuse comfort with connection.
And sometimes we confuse chaos with love.

But real connection — the kind that grounds you and elevates you — that’s sacred.

You are who you sit with. So choose your seat wisely.

And if it’s not working for you? You’re allowed to scoot.

Here’s to the Matts of the world. And here’s to becoming one.