Learning to Receive the Good Without Questioning It
because not everything that feels good is a trap, I promise
I don’t know who needs to hear this (probably me, always me), but… It’s okay to let good things happen to you. You don’t need to explain them, justify them, or brace yourself for a sudden karmic backhand from the universe. I used to live in this state of emotional crouching. Like, even when things were going well, I was waiting for the collapse. A kind text? Must be followed by ghosting. A good day? Cue the anxiety about what I’m forgetting. A happy relationship? Okay, but what’s their fatal flaw and when will it destroy me? Letting the good in felt dangerous. Unfamiliar. Suspicious. Because when you’ve spent years in survival mode—emotionally, physically, relationally—peace doesn’t feel peaceful. It feels like the quiet before the storm.
Survival Mode Teaches You to Be Suspicious of Joy
When life has trained you to anticipate disappointment, you start reading every good thing like it has a hidden clause. You learn to love with one foot out the door. You keep armor on, even when no one’s swinging. The nervous system doesn’t magically know the difference between a real threat and a learned one. So when something beautiful shows up—kindness, connection, calm—your brain might whisper, “Don’t get used to this.” But that’s not wisdom. That’s trauma.
My Therapist Brain Says:
We’re not meant to live in crisis mode forever. Our bodies and hearts are actually built for safety, connection, rest. But when we’ve been hurt—especially in childhood or by people we trusted—our baseline gets thrown off. Safety feels scary. Calm feels unfamiliar. And joy? Joy feels like a setup.
This is where reparenting comes in. We start telling ourselves:
“You are safe now.”
“You’re allowed to enjoy this moment without preparing for pain.”
“You don’t have to earn peace by struggling first.”
Healing is learning that not every good thing has an expiration date.
What Receiving the Good Looks Like in Real Life
Letting someone be kind to you without immediately thinking, What do they want? Enjoying a peaceful day without inventing chaos to match your nervous system. Saying “thank you” when someone compliments you—instead of listing reasons why they’re wrong. Letting yourself be loved in a steady, boring, non-performative way and realizing… wow, this is actually really nice
You’re Allowed to Feel Good Without Guilt
Read that again. You don’t need to shrink your joy so others feel more comfortable. You don’t need to sabotage the good just because you’re scared it won’t last. You don’t need to “deserve” peace—you’re worthy of it because you exist.
The truth is, the more you practice receiving the good without flinching, the more your brain starts to believe:
Maybe I’m safe now.
Maybe I’m allowed to be happy.
Maybe I don’t need to earn rest by suffering first.
Joy doesn’t mean nothing will ever go wrong again. Peace doesn’t mean the world will stop spinning. But learning to trust the good when it comes? That’s healing. That’s growth. That’s what makes all the hard work worth it. So if things are going well right now, I give you full permission to lean in.
Breathe it in.
Don’t ruin it.
You don’t have to.
Not this time.
